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forget it, taking him back and living as husband and wife again? Or should she punish him for the long-time hurt of his neglect and the immediate hurt of his unfaithfulness?
She didn't really want a divorce, probably because she still basically loved Bob, in spite of what he had done to hurt her pride. But because she had been so deeply hurt and for so long, she couldn't bring herself to just forgive and forget the whole messy matter. Somehow she had to punish him, to show him how awful it felt to be hurt deep down in your soul by someone who ought to love you. But how?
He was smart and good-looking; that's what made it so easy for him to get to bed with Jane Farnham. He was talented in his profession of commercial artist; that's why Jane's husband would be so furious at him for taking advantage of the wonderful career Mr. Farnham was offering him with his big important advertising agency. If Alice divorced him, Bob could easily get other girls. If Farnham fired him, he could easily get a good job with someone else. His most annoying and irritating quality, Alice felt, was his total masculine arrogance and his constant virile need for sex.
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By seriously threatening and subduing his basic manhood was the only way she could con-. quer and punish him. He was so proud of his frequent potency, and he so despised all homosexuals and effeminate men, that this was one area in which he might be somehow vulnerable. She had time to figure it out, for she had refused to see him for at least a week after that terrible time at the motel.
Alice forced herself to go down to Times Square in New York, into one of the many sleazy stores that sold pornography, where she purchased all the books she could find on homosexuality, transvestism, and sado-masochism, and then she studied them intently. She got in touch with a former girl-friend from highschool, who had become a high-class call-girl catering to men with abnormal sexual desires, and had a long and informative chat. Since this girl was fundamentally a Lesbian, she had many suggestions to offer on the subject of punishing arrogant males. And finally Alice made an appointment with a psychiatrist she had once met at a cocktail party, and pumped him dry on the subject of how to frustrate and feminize virile men. By the time she had agreed to see Bob again, she felt that she was well-armed with suggestions as to how to punish him.